Corporate lunches shape client trust, says psychologist

The Meat & Wine Co has published research and commentary on how corporate lunches affect client relationships, developed with registered psychologist Tim Cotter.

The restaurant group argues that business meals can shape trust, judgment and deal outcomes. Cotter says clients begin forming views before they arrive at the table. The guidance covers invitations, venue choice, ordering, time management and how hosts respond when a meeting loses momentum.

According to Cotter, the social dynamics of a meal can reveal more than a formal presentation. "Our impressions of others are heavily influenced by non-verbal, unconscious cues. We're constantly forming our opinions not by what people say, but what we observe of their actions and how they make us feel," said Tim Cotter, registered psychologist, The Meat & Wine Co.

He said a lunch meeting gives both sides a setting where manners and choices are closely watched. "Trust is built on relationships, and often strengthened in less formal settings, where conversations over a meal can do more than those in the boardroom. There is an opportunity for generosity and hospitality that may garner a sense of care, and possibly reciprocity. It's an opportunity to demonstrate your values and showcase your etiquette and style," Cotter said.

Early Judgements

A central point in the guidance is that a host can damage a commercial relationship through a small error more easily than secure it through a polished meal. In Cotter's view, judgment starts with the invitation itself, including who is asked, where the meeting is held and how much time is set aside.

"People are always looking to form judgements, and it's probably quicker to blow a business deal through a faux pas than it is to clinch the multi-million dollar deal over lunch. In fact, the judgement will start long before the lunch, based on the nature of the invitation, who's invited, the choice of venue, budget, timing - everything," Cotter said.

He added that the planning process should show regard for the client rather than the host's own preferences. "Use the lunch as an opportunity to communicate not only your values, but your appreciation and respect for their values," Cotter said.

Venue And Menu

The choice of restaurant is presented as a signal of commercial judgment as much as hospitality. Cotter said location, convenience and fit with the client's expectations can all influence how a business is perceived.

"Venue choice influences the client's perception," Cotter said. "It can help to portray your values and brand, and it can also show your understanding of the client. When choosing a venue, ask yourself, is it convenient for them? Does it consider their cultural norms? Is it aligned to their values?"

He also drew a distinction between different styles of dining room. "High-end venues signal success, sophistication and a desire to impress, while casual ones can suggest confidence, a relaxed, social vibe and more considered costs, which may land well, but if they feel too cheap or convenient, they can imply a lack of effort and care," Cotter said.

The same applies once guests begin to order. A host's food and drink choices can imply restraint, excess or a lack of awareness, depending on the context.

"They can signal whether you're mindful or excessive, refined or basic," Cotter said. "Ultimately, it comes down to judgment. Each decision should show awareness of the client."

The practical advice includes ordering in advance when time is limited, setting a budget tone before stepping back, being cautious about shared dishes with new clients and matching alcohol choices to the setting.

Shorter Meetings

The commentary also argues that a shorter lunch can work as well as a longer sitting if it reflects the client's schedule. Cotter said an express format may signal efficiency rather than indifference.

"An express lunch can be turned to your advantage in many ways. It shows you are respectful of their time, pragmatic, organised and also busy, so you can't spend time lounging over lunches," Cotter said.

He said a host can still move quickly into business without seeming abrupt. "They allow you to get into business without being rude. You should acknowledge that you would usually prefer more small talk, but you are respectful of their time and want to make the most of the time you have with them. It's an opportunity to showcase your flexibility and adaptability," Cotter said.

The Meat & Wine Co linked that argument to its own express lunch offer. "For us, it's never just about the food, it's about how we shape the experience around it. With something like our express lunch, we've designed it to take the pressure out of the decision-making, giving guests curated course options, flexibility, and a pace that works for business," said Lucky Ncube, Meat Master, The Meat & Wine Co.

He said reducing friction around ordering can keep the discussion focused. "It means people aren't distracted by logistics, they can settle in, enjoy a premium dining experience and focus on the conversation, which is where real connection happens," Ncube said.

Reading The Room

Cotter said hosts should pay attention to behavioural signs during the meal. Positive engagement may include guests ordering more refreshments and leaning into the discussion, while impatience and distraction can suggest the meeting has lost traction.

"While disengagement can be as obvious as distraction, showing impatience or even going as far as jiggling their keys," Cotter said.

In that situation, his advice is to shift from talking to listening and move towards a clear next step if needed. "Don't just talk more. Ask questions to uncover their needs or objections, or propose a next step to allow you to wrap up on a high note," Cotter said.

He also cautioned against assuming the most senior person at the table controls the decision. "Be aware of cultural differences and protocols. Things like power dynamics are also key, the person leading the client group may not be the person who holds the purse strings, so be sure to engage with everyone," Cotter said.